On Monday, our Renovare group did the charismatic study. This is one of the areas I identified as a weakness in my life. I have always found it easier to relate to God with my head than my heart - and I know I have to get God into all of me.
The homework exercise I chose to do was to pray for an hour for the Holy Spirit to begin working in a new and powerful way in my life. I found it so hard to pray for an hour. I get distracted too easily; I start thinking about other things - especially when I'm listening rather than talking.
I felt God speaking in two ways to my life. I have to stop being like Jonah who didn't want Ninevah to be saved. He wanted to stay the only one who had a special relationship to God. Unconsciously, I think God is telling me that I'm sometimes like this. A book I've been reading talks a lot about having a hunger for the lost, so much that you cry tears over them - and I think this is the direction I have to head.
The second thing he is telling me is to let go of my ambitions - something He's been telling me a long time.
This morning we met again, this time discussing the social justice tradition study. We read the parable of the sheep and goats, and as always I felt cut to the quick. This week, if I get asked for change on the way to work, I'm going to see what the person asking really wants, offer to spend time with them, make sure I look after their needs.
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